Chapter III.

Setting meaningful goals

To be happy you need to have goals in life that will incentivise you to get out of bed in the morning and to look froward for them to come true. One of the fundamental things to feel happy is to feel in control of your life. Achieving your goals will give you that feeling. Nobody will set your goals for you. It would have to be you. But how do we set goals for them to manifest? There is nothing more discouraging than unfulfilled dreams and failed goals. How to set motivating goals that we can achieve?

Russian professor of psychology Aleksey Stinikov and Vadim Zeland explain it in their works the summary of which is below:

1.    Create your ideal dream

If you do not have the image of what makes you really happy and how it feels, if you do not know what you really want and where you should go, you cannot be helped.

We cannot walk from somewhere without knowing where we are going. We can only walk and get to the destination if we know exactly where we are going.

Many want to run away from the problem and for this reason they focus on and think within that problem. Whereas for effective goal achievement you need to stop focusing on the problem and your fears, and instead, direct your focus and attention to the solution. Concentrate on the solution of the problem and imagine your ideal picture and circumstances where you would feel completely happy and joyous. How would you live? With whom? Now concentrate on that slide and remember it. It is necessary because our unconscious thinks and is motivated only with slides.

2.    Leave the problem

Do not think and fear the problem you’ve got. If you ride a bike and you only think about how not to fall into the hole, it is likely you will fall into it.

According to Zeland, there is one reason why people do not have and do not achieve what they want: because most of the time they think about and fear what they do not want. They concentrate on fearing what they do not want and by doing so they attract it in their life. Instead, think about the solution and ideal scenario that you want to happen.         Focus on the positive slide and play it regularly in your head, and you will attract it in your life.

3.    Changing our focus from the problem to our ultimate goal: the feeling of happiness

“When a dog runs in the field, where does she look? Does she look on her paws, hoping they will help her to get away from where she comes from? Or does she look at the stones she walks on? The answer is “no”. The dog looks exactly where she wants to get. And she does not even look or concentrate on what will happen to her in 5 meters. She notices it with her side vision – the unconscious will calculate it automatically what it is that she should do. And in 4 meters it will too calculate where she should place her paws: on which stone and brunch in order to get where she is heading. The unconscious takes the charge. And so, we too should focus on the goal. We should watch and concentrate on where we want to be. Not where we come from and not on the instruments that help us to get there.”

We must not look at the zone of the problem. And at no point we should look back to the abyss next to which we are riding our bike. We should just ride to our destination, looking right ahead where we are heading to.

“A man is trying to score a goal into the gates. Where do you think he should look?

The answer is NOT on the ball, and NOT on his leg (the instruments). And NOT even on the goalkeeper. Because if you look at the goalkeeper, he will understand your plans and anticipate your move, and you will lose. You should concentrate on the point where you want to score.

Our brain is genius and the unconscious will take charge of the details calculating the exact trajectory and the angle under which your boot should hit the ball in order to reach the goal.”

“When you hammer a nail into the wall, where should you look? You should look on the point on the wall where you are trying to hammer your nail. NOT on the nail, NOT on your hand and NOT on the hammer. You must look exactly at the point on the wall in order to put the nail in it.’

You must understand how the brain works. It directs necessary energy where we are looking at (Zeland). That is why you should not be overly concerned about the instruments but keep the slide of your ideal goal (dream) in front of you.

4.    Verbalisation and visualisation

There are two ways to manifest your dreams and goals. These are verbalisation and visualisation.

First, we should define our goal with precise words so we can clearly express it. This way we conceive it. Every time we manifest our dream by saying it, our conscious and unconscious automatically start looking for the methods to manifest it. Our mind is built in such a way that it automatically starts looking for the ways to manifest our dream. 

‘There is no point writing down goals. The only point for this exercise is to clarify your ideas on paper so that you can then visualise your goal.’

Second, once you define it with words, you need to visualise it as precise as possible in all details and keep this slide of ideal happiness in your head. And in this respect, a Visualisation Board is an absolutely right idea. The advice is to imagine, visualise and then put those images on your Visualisation Board at your desk so that every time you pass by it, it would remind you of your goals. Over time you will get used to your images and they will become a part of you.

Dive into your dream and imagine that it has already come true and how you are enjoying it and how happy it makes you feel. Remember this feeling and get back to it from time to time. Once you create a slide of your dream play it on your mind regularly. Come back to it over and over again. Add more specifics, picture new additional details. Very important, do not look at your slide like a stranger watching it from aside, but become the main actor of your movie around which all this is happening. Pay attention on the positive feelings and emotions you experience by virtually living in your slide. It might not be easy at first, but you need to try to live in your dream virtually. Imagine, what would be your routine? How happy and joyful would you feel? Try to experience these feelings over and over when you play your slide in your head. Whatever you do, get back to your slide from time to time. Make it a habit. Visualisation gives results only by continuous and systematic practising.

Actively pay attention and collect information related to your goal. This way you let it into your world and gradually tune in to the lines of life where the dream will become your reality (Zeland).

If you have the determination to have your dream, then the outer intention will get a way for it to materialise. To tune into the appropriate life lines where you will have it, you must first feel as if you already have got it. Once you have the determination to have it, the outer intention will give it to you.

“And then the following effect occurs. When a person has motivated himself by a visualisation slide, this motivation itself, the expectation that I will get all of this when I will achieve it with the help of the necessary instruments, then dopamine motivation mechanisms are activated in your brain that provoke nor-adrenaline (norepinephrine) - the hormone of ‘good’ stress that is also called the hormone of genius and creativity. Together cortisol with norepinephrine restores immune system to good levels. People who work towards their goal they tend not to fall ill. Therefore, achieving a goal is also a path to health and longevity.’- Sitnikov.

5.    3 conditions for your dream to come true:

Money, dreams, goals – all will come to you once 3 factors take place:

1)   When you deserve it: when you have given to the world enough. If you develop for the world a good service or product that is worth a million, you will get it back from the world (i.e. in accordance with the Great Law of Giving and Receiving and also with the Theory of Karma);

2)  When you are ready for it;

3) When you will use it in the correct way, i.e. for yourself.

6.    You should be a part of your dream

Your dream won’t come true if you are not in it.

You must be there as a main hero. Our unconscious is like a little child, it cannot manifest goodies unless they are for you to enjoy. A little boy cannot want an ice-cream for another boy. That little boy cannot wish the beauty he is in love with for another man, so is our unconscious. Leave the pretence that you want selflessly something for someone else because your unconscious won’t be motivated. Your unconscious wants that ice cream for yourself. And it wants a pretty girl for you too, not for your friend. It either wants it for you or it doesn’t. And if the unconscious really wants something, it will give you all necessary tools to achieve it: attention, memory, talent, skills, energy and health.

It won’t be possible to motivate yourself with a phrase: “I want to learn Spanish” until there is no you in the picture as a main hero and until you see yourself having that desired lifestyle that gives you the feeling of happiness and elevated vibes.

If you want to set a number of how much money you wish to have next year or in the next 5 years as your goal – this is not a good goal either and would not manifest because money is only an instrument and our unconscious does not concentrate on instruments because it is not effective. You will see for yourself why, if not already. There is no point dreaming of getting a million dollar. That million will come to you if you dream about a house on the sea where you want to live and be happy, that costs a million dollar. Therefore, dream only with slides, images.