1. The most powerful secret of longevity
For more than 8,000 years of Chinese history, the "Sexual Kung Fu" method of retaining the seminal fluid during the act of love remained a deep secret. At first, it was practised exclusively by the Emperor and his innermost circle, who learned it from the Daoist Masters who advised the court. At those times monarchs were exhausted at an early age by the sexual demands of their wives and numerous concubines and the Emperor needed a method to prevent impotence and illness. The Dao Masters claimed the secret was a gift of mankind. In ancient China they were natural scientists of that time who laid the foundation for great technological progress in medicine, chemistry, and biology long before it was discovered in the West.
Chinese aristocrats seeking the deepest level of fulfilment had the capacity to return the energy of the seminal fluid to the brain and vital bodily centers. But ordinary people had no technique for recycling this great life power to the body. Most men find the sexual lure irresistibly attractive and happily lose their seed when succumbing to it, unaware of the consequences to their health or that there was even an alternative available to them.
Gurus teaching Dao love pay great attention to preservation of semen and controlling ejaculation as the main secret to longevity. The main problem that man must get rid of is the notion that he has to ejaculate every time he makes love. This is a great mistake and misconception. Stopping ejaculation is not to be confused with stopping orgasm, though. Dao makes it possible to orgasm without ejaculating the semen.
With frequent ejaculation of sperm vitality ultimately drops. The man loses stamina, his vision begins to weaken, hair tumbles from his skull: he grows old before his time. In his youth he will not feel drained, but after years of abuse of his reproductive system, his capacities will begin to drop alarmingly. When the hormonal secretions of the sexual glands are regularly leached out, the body is sapped at its root.
A simple explanation for this is to compare ejaculation with blood donation - physiologically the two processes are similar. To encourage people to donate their precious blood, medical authorities usually say that a healthy human body is capable of replenishing blood relatively quickly; but in reality, however, it is not advised to donate your blood more than once every few months, and sometimes even less, if the donor is not exceptionally strong or very young. Even strong healthy young donors still experience fatigue and even can faint, if they donate blood frequently. Many men have similar experience when they ejaculate too many times. Because of the loss of energy and strength after ejaculation, many men avoid making love too frequently, but a man who knows how to control his ejaculations distinguishes lovemaking and ejaculation. As a result, he is able to make love and enjoy sex as often as he wants.
" . . . When the living organism, whether vegetable or animal, achieves its aim, which is a new seed, its organism deteriorates." —Schwaller de Lubicz, The Temple in Man
Plants, too, are subject to these laws. After a plant goes to seed or bears fruit, it dies or enters a period of dormancy. The average Westerner ejaculates 5,000 times in his lifetime, equal roughly to 15 litres of sperm, according to the Kinsey Report made in 1950-ies. Ejaculation of the male seed for purposes other than having children is a wasteful loss of an extremely precious treasure.
Ejaculatory sex is known to heavily exploit every gland and organ. Dr. Beyoihn, an endocrinologist, stressed the importance of the hormonal function of semen production: "Sexual hormones are important to our harmonious development. When men abuse the reproductive function, the secretions of the sexual glands are lost." With ejaculation, the internal pressure of life is expelled from the man's body, leaving him only enough life force to fall asleep or at best go for a meal to regain at least part of his energy and vital nutrients loss. The energy loss over long periods of time weakens the physical health of a man, can lead to unconscious emotional anger towards women and gradually robs him of the higher mind and spirit. The gurus considered one drop of semen equal in vital power to one hundred drops of blood. Semen retention must become your goal every time you make love. The precious sperm seed should be retained inside your body and not spilt unwisely.
When a man practices Dao lovemaking he can enjoy it with great health benefits and achieve orgasm without ejaculation: "Orgasm can occur without ejaculation... This skill is developed among some men... deliberately contracting their genital muscles,... using a contraceptive technique known as contus reservatus. These men experience a real orgasm without ejaculation of semen."
Conservation of sexual energy is the first principle in its cultivation. In spring, man can afford to ejaculate once every three days; in summer and autumn - twice a month. In cold winter we should preserve our semen and not ejaculate at all. The journey to longevity is not to ejaculate your Yang-essence during the winter because ejaculation in cold winter is much more harmful than in springtime. By following this criterion, a man will gain longevity. Preserving your Yang-essence will increase your yang power and bring you closer to gods.
Equally important is to continuously nourish your Yang-essence with Yin-essence. That is why almost all ancient Oriental scriptures emphasize the importance of frequent lovemaking and rare ejaculations.
“The more we make love, the more we gain from the harmony of Yin and Yang forces,
and the less we ejaculate, the less we lose the benefits of this power.”
— Zhang Chmenya, VII century AD
Su Nu: "When a man loves without losing his semen, he makes his body stronger, accumulating Yang power. When he loves twice without losing it, his sight and hearing will become more acute; if three times, all diseases will disappear; if four times - peace will be in his soul; if five times, his heart and blood circulation will be renewed; if six times, his lower back will become stronger; if seven times, his hips and buttocks will become stronger; if eight times - the skin will become smooth; if nine times, he will achieve longevity; if ten times, he will approach immortality." In that scripture, the author hoped to deliver the message that man should retain his semen, controlling his ejaculation, rather than taking it literally.
With time, you will learn the right frequency by your elevated mood and joy after ejaculating: you will feel stronger, not weaker, and feel like a soaring eagle, not a canary in a cage. Remember, regardless of how often you ejaculate, you should aim to make love daily, and if possible - 2-3 times a day. Lovemaking on a daily basis becomes easy when two people live together and make each other a priority in their lives.
One of the leading gurus who lived in 581 years B.C. and received the title of a Wise Man from Emperor Tan taught that if a man can have sex 100 times without ejaculating, he will live a long life. In his theory it was stated that when a man's semen will be exhausted, he will become ill. Once semen finishes, a man dies.
According to him, a general rule is: "A man will live a long and healthy life if he will keep on having ejaculation twice a month, or 24 times a year. If, meantime, he will pay attention to healthy food and exercises, he will acquire longevity."
A young super healthy man of 20 y.o. can ejaculate every four days. A man of 30 y.o. can ejaculate once every eight days. A man of 40 y.o. can ejaculate every ten days. A man of 50 y.o. - every 20 days. A man of 60 should not ejaculate anymore unless he is exceptionally strong and healthy; then he can ejaculate once a month.
The whole matter of orgasms turns to a completely different level when a man can have sex with a woman several times a day instead of once a week.
“A man who can take pleasure out of long and frequent sex is much more valuable, than the one who is just young and good looking.”
2. The art of lovemaking.
Practical methods and techniques
Kisses
Ancient scriptures emphasize the importance of deep kisses. The gurus place them as the second most important form of lovemaking after sexual intercourse.
While man and woman are enjoying their intimacy, they should exchange deep, sensual kisses as often as possible, and they should drink each other's fluids. Drinking the "jade liquid", or saliva, is vital to harmonize Yin and Yang energies.
Knowing how to kiss all parts of the body is an important skill.
Women can experience a pre-orgasmic state after long, deep, sensual kisses. One such passionate kiss can be more powerful than a whole routine sexual intercourse for a woman. This is explained by the fact that our lips and tongue have characteristics of and connect to our genitals: lips as external genitalia of a woman and tongue as the penis of a man. That is why it is important to practice long, deep, sensual kisses.
A deep, sensual kiss can help to harmonize Yin and Yang forces in you and your partner. It is important that during a deep kiss, partners must drink from each other's lips and tongue. Without a mutual attraction to each other's liquid, a satisfying erotic kiss is not possible, and without it, an important part of love is lost.
From time to time, you can bite your partner's lips, but very lightly. Biting or pinching is a fine art and must be done gradually, mixing pleasure with a slight pain and is more effective when applied to the ears, neck and back of the shoulders. Many men and women find it very arousing.
Sometimes, a man may have difficulty getting erection, especially if he is tired, exhausted or over-excited. The power of a kiss is that you can still make love with each other's lips, even when you two are too tired and your genitals stop functioning.
A woman's clitoris and breasts are usually the most sensitive areas, but do not touch them at the beginning: start caressing her hands and kiss her first. A woman is also sensitive around the spinal column from head to butt and to her hips. These points vary from woman to woman, but the most popular points are the ears, the back of the head and the area around the waist, especially at the back. The inner thighs are also very sensitive. Her belly can often be effectively caressed with your belly - this is one of the greatest joys of love.
Breasts
You need to take a woman's breasts very carefully because a woman's nipples are super sensitive. Stimulating gentle nipples by kissing and sucking them gives many women arousal and great pleasure: the external organs and vagina start filling with natural lubricant, preparing for sexual intercourse. For a man, sucking breasts and placing your head on the chest of your beloved gives that joyful comforting feeling of peace and serenity.
It is widely believed that kissing a woman's nipples tends to prepare her for intercourse. However, there are a small number of women who may not enjoy having their breasts sucked. This is likely to be either very young girls who are not used to such a form of lovemaking, or women after the breastfeeding period whose babies traumatized their nipples by strong biting. It is a man's job to find out because sucking is a significant part of lovemaking and is very beneficial for both. Oxytocin – a hormone of happiness is released after stimulation of the nipples . If you are patient, then despite this apparent lack of connection, sensitivity or extreme sensitivity, a woman can often be gradually awakened and brought into action within a few months by regular, gentle sucking, kissing her breasts and nipples and gentle stroking. There is always a neural connection in the breasts; it remains numb only due to improper stimulation. Remember, you always need to start very gently and little by little until the breasts become accustomed to gentle caressing on a regular basis, and then, your woman will give you a sign to hold or suck them stronger if she needs it.
Oral sex
Men should not practice blowjob so that uncontrollable ejaculation does not occur. Cunnilingus, however, has no disadvantages and is highly favoured by many women.
3. Reading a woman’s body.
The Art of Passion
“Man belongs to yang.
Yang easily gets aroused,
but it easily cools down.
Woman belongs to yin.
Yin is difficult to make aroused,
but once aroused it is difficult to satiate.”
As a man, it is your responsibility to see that your lover's organs are literally first warmed. This is the Daoist way of harmonizing the Yin essence, of increasing her receptive power to love-making. It takes longer for her organs to warm up and get into fine-tune than it does for a man.
“Think of a woman as water and man as fire. A man can light his fire quickly, but if he burns up his wood too soon, the pot of water won’t have time to boil. The water will warm more slowly than the fire. So, the man should conserve his firewood while slowly warming up the woman’s water. Observe the basic rule of cooking: don’t put your carrots and peas (your penis and testicles) in the pot before the water is already about to boil.”
The ancient scripts suggest that a woman's energy goes through nine stages as her organs begin to warm and release their harmonious Qi. It was described by the sex consultant to the Emperor of China (nearly 2000 years ago) as:
"1. Her chi is in her lungs when she begins to breathe rapidly.
2. The energy has moved to her heart when she kisses the man.
3. She hugs the man: Chi is in the spleen.
4. Her vagina grows moist: chi is in the kidneys and genitals.
5. She moves her pelvis and bites gently: chi has penetrated the bones.
6. Her legs grab tight around the man: chi is in the muscles.
7. She caresses the penis: chi is in the blood.
8. She kisses with deep passion: chi has arrived in her skin and flesh.
9. She surrenders herself and moans in ecstasy: chi has entered the liver and released her spirit. She is now ready to receive the man and exchange her Yin."
This is the map of the woman's body and her “feedback” to your loving that serves as a guide to the gates of her passion. Use these signals to your advantage.
The purpose of waiting until the woman is fully ready will become apparent when you practice the semen retention technique described below. The man and woman begin to "steam up" the sexual essence but if the pot is not adequately prepared and the temperature is wrong, it will be difficult to successfully transform the sex energy into spirit.
The four attainments of "JADE STALK"
In order to harmonize fully with a woman who is going through the nine stages of arousal, the man will naturally pass his phases of arousal.
When the Emperor asked: "If I wish to make love but fail to gain erection, is it wise to force intercourse?" His sexologist replied, " No, it is not wise. The Jade Stalk (penis) should first pass the Four Attainments before intercourse will be proper."
"If the Jade Stalk is not able to erect, the Yin and Yang energy are not in harmony. Firmness is the first attainment. If the Jade Stalk erects but is not swollen, the chi [energy] is insufficient in the blood. Swelling is the second attainment. If the man's Jade Stalk is swollen but not hard, his chi has not penetrated to his bones. Hardness is the third attainment. Finally, if the Jade Stalk is hard but not hot, the vital energy has not reached the man's spirit. Heat is the fourth attainment. However, if the highest level is not achieved it is still fine to enter the woman at that stage and the fourth attainment will happen during the intercourse."
Other practices described below and meditation help to develop a high level of Qi cultivation where energy can be passed or exchanged with a woman without using a penis as the channel of transmission. A light touch of your hand, a glance, or a thought will suffice to send the energy that will arouse heat between you two.
Penetration and 'controlled method' technique
Beginner must learn to enter gently and come out with force. He must first try the method of three shallow and one deep push and perform 81 pushes in one go;
Breaking method:
If you feel that you are slightly aroused, you should immediately stop the thrusting movements and pull out your 'jade stem' to the point where there are only about 2 cm or less left inside the 'jade gate'. You have to wait until you calm down and then resume three small and one deep thrusts;
Then try the method of five shallow and one deep;
Finally, try the method of nine shallow and one deep.
Having learned to control ejaculation, you must avoid impatience and master self-control.
Types of thrusts
Pushing is very different from the standard Western method. Under good circumstances and with the right partner, you can thrust with amazing endurance and energy. If partners are attracted to each other and are familiar with each other's bodies, they can achieve a degree of coordination that is incredible. One intercourse can last for a long time and be repeated often and vigorously until both partners are completely satisfied and joyous. This is the main reason why Dao pays so much attention to different types of thrusts. If the penis enters and leaves the external genitalia in the same way every time, a long session of lovemaking will be boring. However, if a man knows how to vary his thrusts and positions, a long session becomes a joyful and ecstatic experience.
Different types of thrusts are all good in long lovemaking sessions: deep and shallow, slow and fast, straight and sideways. Each has its own distinctive effect and characteristics. "A slow thrust should feel like a movement of a fish playing with a hook; a quick thrust - like a flock of birds flying against the wind." Entering and pulling out, moving up and down, left to right, divide with a pace or move fast - all the moves should be coordinated. You should use each at the most convenient time and never use only one style because you feel lazy.
There are nine types of thrusts defined by ancient scriptures:
1) Direct to the right and then to the left (as a brave warrior is trying to break through the ranks of enemies);
2) Moving up and down (like a wild horse kicking in a river);
3) Pull out and approaching (like a flock of seagulls playing on the waves);
4) Use deep thrusts and shallow, teasing thrusts, quickly alternating (like a sparrow pecking the remains of rice in a mortar);
5) Make deep and shallow thrusts in unchanged sequence (like a big stone being lowered into the deep ocean);
6) Approach slowly (like a snake crawling into a hole for the winter);
7) Push quickly (like a frightened rat rushes into a hole);
8) Balance, then push hard (like an eagle grabbing a rabbit);
9) Raise, then sink (just like a large sailing boat meets a storm).
All these thrusts, made at different speeds, strength and depth, add shades and nuances of pleasure that will deepen the love of a man and a woman. The variations also allow the man to control his ejaculation and keep his instrument erect and hard for a long time.
A man should watch his woman's desires while, meantime, preserving his semen that must never be released unwisely.
Before entering, he must first rub his palms to make them warm and hold his jade shaft firmly, and then he should use the method of a shallow lure and deep thrust. The more he can push, the more pleasure his partner will get. A thrust should not be too fast or too slow; you should not push too deep without restraint; otherwise it is possible to hurt your woman. Try pushing like making a few strokes on a lute string, then vigorously other thrusts on the tines of a water chestnut. When a woman reaches the peak of her pleasure, she will unconsciously grit her teeth. She sweats and her breathing starts being faster, then her eyes will close, and face turns blushed. Her inner organs now open wide, and secretions flow. From these signs, a man can conclude that she greatly enjoys the intimacy.
Best thrusts
9 shallow and 1 deep thrust is a method preferred by the gurus and equally popular among women of all ages. According to them, this is the best combination and the couple receives the maximum benefit. The nine shallow, one deep rhythm delights your woman, so you should really learn this technique. At first, she will feel that she is being teased with false hopes, then she gets satisfied by her man. "The vacuum has a tremendous effect: she feels empty then full, empty then full. This pause pleases because you constantly refresh her senses with change. When we eat our fill, we want no more. But one delicious taste (the deep thrust) increases the desire. We satisfy then stimulate desire. We create desire than renew satisfaction." The other reason that shallow thrusts satisfy a woman so much is that her most sensitive area is about one inch inside her vagina, nowadays known as the G-spot.
Continue going nine shallow, one deep until accomplishing nine full sets. Your potency will be increased if you swallow her saliva every time you pause for a deep thrust. This fluid is highly charged with her Yin essence and will balance and expand your Yang energy.
Each thrust is itself an act of love, so you may trust slowly.
At first, you may go 3, then 6 cycles before building up to the 9. It is important to remember that both partners should get the most pleasure out of lovemaking, while the man should be in control of the situation and his ejaculation.
4. Controlling ejaculation. The method
Ancient Chinese technique of extrusion
The ancient Chinese prescribed the extrusion technique, or more precisely, the squeezing technique. It can be used in almost all positions. In this technique, the man applies pressure himself. Using the index and middle fingers of his left hand, he presses the point between the scrotum and anus for 3-4 seconds; at the same time, he takes a deep breath.
This method has many advantages: firstly, a man does not have to remove the penis from the vagina; secondly, he can carry to be in close intimate contact with his woman; thirdly, he does not have to tell or explain his partner anything. Many men prefer this technique because they do not have to explain to their partner what they are doing.
This technique is best combined with the Power lock technique:
Power Lock technique to stop ejaculation during sexual intercourse
Use muscles of the fist, jaw, neck, feet, perineum, buttocks, and abdomen to divert sexual tension and block the urge to ejaculate, and push upward your sexual Qi through your spine to nourish your heat and brain with this powerful energy.
Technique to achieve orgasm without ejaculation
Every man has a semen protuberance (i.e. seminal tubercle) in the urethral canal - a small thickening through which the tubes go. During ejaculation, sperm passes through these tubes and affects the nerves of that tubercle. As a result of this, man experiences an orgasm. It is on these processes that the Daoist teaching about multiple male orgasms is based, in which the sperm stops near the seminal tubercle and is sent back. To achieve this, it is necessary to compress the pubococcygeus muscles, constantly train them and strengthen them with the help of special exercises shown below. Men who learn the Daoist wisdom of lovemaking do not fall asleep immediately after sex, but they are able to enjoy numerous orgasms over a night without ejaculation, discovering new joys of lovemaking.
Exercise "Deer"
According to a legend, thousands of years ago, Chinese wise men chose three animals famous for their longevity and reproductive power. The first was a deer, which is a symbol of reproductive health. The exercise improves the quality of sexual life, restores and strengthens erection, controls the duration of sexual intercourse and reduces your biological age.
· Take a deep breath through your nose for 15 seconds and feel the tension in the anal area. At this moment, the "seven glands" getting activated due to the tension in the pelvic floor and pubococcygeus muscle;
· the breath is held (10 seconds) – the pelvic floor is pulled up, energy is distributed, and the lymph glands are activated;
· exhale through the mouth - you feel getting relaxed, and your pelvic floor is getting relaxed.
The exercise should be done on a flat surface, for example, in bed or on the floor. You need to take a stable position and carefully massage the hole on the back of the head at the base of the skull with your fingers. Taoist healers believe that it is necessary to accurately count 49 movements to achieve the desired result. The exercise is best done after waking up and before going to bed. After completing the exercises, a man's love will take on an entirely new character. He will feel a surge of strength and will be able to surprise his woman, give her and himself incomparable pleasure. A woman who feels the love of a man blossoms trusts him and strives to please him; thus, the relationship in the couple starts to blossom.
5. Masturbation
Masturbation is a technical process that aims at getting physical pleasure with ejaculation. It is pure sex and has nothing to do with spiritual practices or lovemaking. Nothing saddens and disappoints a woman more than discovering that her partner only cares about his ejaculation during sexual intercourse, masturbating using her body.
Dermena Graer, in her book "The Female-eunuch", wrote:
"When a man is embarrassed or tired of masturbating on his own, and he grabs a woman to release his sexual tension, then the embarrassment related to masturbation is not much different to the sexual intercourse with a woman. The only difference in such case is that rubbing is happening not by his hand but by the woman's body, and ejaculation happens into the vagina. Man treats her just like a sperm bank, something similar to a spitting cup, - and he turns his back on her in disgust."
Some men may assume that they are getting satisfaction out of that process. In fact, they do not really know what the true joy of love is, just as they cannot know and discover the harmony of Yin and Yang energies.
Young people as well as men of any age should avoid empty sex, but this is especially important once they master ejaculation control.
After all, sex alone, without love makes you unhappy - you are only connecting the lower half of yourself to a woman. The flow of Qi in the circle is broken, and without that total flow between Yin and Yang, no amount of sex will satisfy your deeper desire for wholeness and feeling complete.
When the upper poles of man and woman are connected and merged at the heart, mouth as well as genitals, then their circle is closed, and Qi can circulate and transform into spiritual upper half of their bodies, bringing them joy and happiness.
6. Resolving the problem with erection. Defeating impotence.
Most men think they want to make love, only to discover that their body doesn't want it. This happens to every man from time to time and this is a problem.
To overcome it and be able to make love, a man must do everything properly: first, he needs to harmonize the atmosphere and only then can he hope that his penis will get hard. Here are the things of what he should do:
1. He must put his 5 organs in order;
2. He must know how to find 9 erotic zones of a woman;
3. He must know how to distinguish 5 wonderful qualities of a woman;
4. He must know how to excite her in order to benefit from her flowing secretions;
5. He must drink her saliva, then his seed will be in harmony;
6. He must avoid seven harmful things;
7. He must take 8 beneficial actions.
If he does all this, all his 5 organs will be regulated, his health will be protected and no disease will take over him. This way his body will function great. His penis will get hard every time he enters a woman
Essentially, these methods suggest first to get relaxed, enjoy yourself and not worry about your erection at all, instead concentrating on the erotic stimulation of your woman.
The Masters do not know the word impotence. Ancient Chinese never considered it a serious problem.
However, in modern times in the West, impotence is an incorrectly used word and more debilitating and humiliating. Technically, it means inability to have sexual intercourse. However, even if the penis of a man does not get up, it does not mean at all that he is helpless. Dao gives one particular advice to resolve this problem: just forget about your erection and concentrate on the body of your woman, her beauty and her charm. Keep remaining fully confident that you will give her as much pleasure as it is only possible without engaging your penis.
Sexual pleasure can be given and received in many ways: you can enjoy the body of your partner with your lips and tongue. You can enjoy not only her appearance but also her smell and the rubbing of her skin on yours that has its own sensual pleasure. Caressing those areas of her body will arouse you as well as feeling her back and her backbone, gentle, loving sucking of her nipples until they get hard. On top of all these things, you can kiss her external organs and suck her clitoris, entering it with your tongue, penetrating deeper slowly, deeper and deeper until her liquids are flowing in between her hips. Her arousal will arouse you and will likely give you an erection. If this happens, your problem will be resolved, and you can easily enter her vagina with your penis. If not, you must know you can still enter her using 'a soft entry' method.
SOFT ENTRY METHOD
The soft entry method means that a man does not need an erection to enter the woman and does it with a bit of help of his fingers. If a man is experienced enough in this method, he can maneuver just fine even with a completely soft penis inserting it into a woman and at the same time give her and himself pleasure from this. Soft insertion can be a new very exciting way to love if done skillfully. In fact, some women greatly enjoy soft penis penetration feeling how it gets hard inside them once both start loving each other with lips, eyes and hands. This is also one of the most favorite practices in Hindu Tantra.
1. The most comfortable position for soft penetration is some variation of the side-by-side face-to-face or man-on-top position.
2. Insertion should not be attempted until the woman is very wet or until she herself might initiate soft entry by taking your penis inside her. As mentioned above, once women try this way, they usually like it so much that they want it again. The reason is simple - women feel empowered and it is meaningful to them when they take a soft penis and it arouses inside them.
3. If a woman does not want a lubricant applied to her, you should apply it on yourself anyway. This way, the entry is easy and smooth, this is the trick. Rub it on the tip and shaft of your penis - and you will get the same effect.
4. The key to this method is your skilful fingers and practice inserting the penis with your fingers into her vagina. As you know, practice makes it perfect, so the more you practice this method, the more virtuoso you will get in it. Just remember, your fingers should create a ring around the base of the penis to make the top at least semi-hard so you can begin thrusting. This finger pressure works in much the same way as a rubber ring placed on the root of the penis would work, but finger pressure is better than any artificial ring: firstly, you can adjust the compression; and secondly, you can remove your fingers as soon as your penis does not need the support of your fingers; thirdly, there is no risk of injuring your woman, which a rubber ring can do. Having reached this point, most men are able to have an erection.
The best thing about this method is that the soft entry technique is suitable for both skilled and unskilled men. For a beginner, it reduces the risk of embarrassment; for an experienced one it reduces the risk of failure. Once the thrusts begin, most men, unless they have serious psychological problems, are able to maintain an erection. The soft insertion method eliminates two persistent myths about sex. The first is that a man cannot enter a woman until he has achieved an erection, and the second is that for entry, the erection must be strong enough. These are both not true.
It is not the erection that is important but the skill a man develops. The reason is simple: no one can be sure of an erection all the time. The soft entry method allows the man to continue loving and entering the woman for as long as she wants to love.
Lovingly offer her your essential energy. This surrender shall carry with it all emotions of love and devotion. It will inspire her to surrender to you back and her nourishing Yin essence while totally accepting yours. This is the nature of fulfilment and feeling complete.
If you attempt to withhold your energy, she will sense it consciously or unconsciously—your sense of separation, your ego, which is nothing more than energy stuck in one place (usually the head in the man). As the urge to ejaculate fades with relaxation, the Yin energy will flood your entire body, making you fulfilled and feeling complete. If you are just beginning to practice these methods, you may be so overwhelmed by the sensations of sexual love that it will seem impossible to distinguish her Yin energy from Your yang. Everything may seem hot and explosive and a single energy. Don't worry about it. It actually does not matter for as long as both of your Qi circulating through your bodies and invigorating both of you.
If you practice meditation and are an advanced yogi, then you are likely to have more power than the woman, and in this case, you may want to help her to open her centers by sending your power to her unopened centers.
7. How to give a woman the most intense orgasm.
Valley orgasm
G-Spot
Surrounding the urethra is a plexus of blood vessels. During sexual excitement the blood vessels engorge and a bulge can be felt through the vaginal wall. This bulge has been named the “G-Spot,” after Grafenberg, one of the first sexologists and is the front and upper part of the inside of the vagina.
When the G-Spot is massaged, often a woman’s first impression is that she has to urinate. Sexologists assure women that if the pressure is continued there will be a transition to sexual arousal.
It is best to use this technique at the end of your lovemaking when both are super relaxed and super excited, and you want her to finish at crescendo. When the valley orgasm will happen bare in mind, a large amount of clear water-like fluid will be released from her urethra. Many women, and also men, take it for urine and get super embarrassed or disgusted for urinating in bed, but this is not an urine, but a liquid a woman produces when orgasming, similar to the man’s ejaculation, but much more intense.
Be extremely gentle at the beginning when you stimulate her G-spot, especially if your woman never experienced valley orgasm before, and build the pressure slowly and gradually. Below we will return to it in detail.
Use your middle finger to press against the front wall of her vagina on the G-spot (use the image provided above as a reference), while she is on her back with legs spread wide for easy access. Other positions like 69, doggy style and spooning can be used with time once you and your partner master it.
Please remember her ‘g-spot’ is not a computer button – so no need to press hard hoping she will orgasm like a machine. It is a neat place to stimulate and is a ball of nerves located on the upper wall of her vagina. Once you’ve found roughly this spot, stimulate it gently at first, and then begin building pressure gradually. You will understand when to build the pressure from her body signs and voice. Use plenty of lubricant because you may be there for a while.
With your palm facing upwards, insert your middle finger in her vagina and start rubbing against the spot. If the movement is welcomed and liked by the woman, gently and slowly build up the pressure. You can use a “come to me” movement with your finger, moving against the upper wall of her vagina towards you - similar finger move to the one you use with your pointy finger when you call someone to come to you. If this excites her, then build more pressure by inserting two fingers (middle and pointy finger, while applying more lubricant) and make a beckoning motion inside her vagina. Use tapping, stroking and caressing movements on her G-spot, all the while following cues from her about what feels good. Deep kisses would enhance your intimacy and make the process more sensual.
A gentle push can make the magic happen with a little extra clitoral stimulation during the process making her orgasm more quickly.
7. BDSM
The archetype and the very concept of BDSM have been muddled and distorted to mere masturbation sex with a sadist inclination. However, this isn't the essence of it, and very few understand. The very act of BDSM is that one lover surrenders to another in their love, having unlimited trust in their partner, which can be done by highly advanced people and is a beautiful act of love. When you love, you surrender to your beloved: you surrender your Ego, your selfishness and even your life so you two can become one. In the act of BDSM loving, you surrender to your partner because you want to relieve yourself from the responsibilities, from doing and start feeling, becoming more of Yin essence, which is feeling and observing, not doing. The one who surrenders (a 'slave') entrusts themself unconditionally to their beloved, and from that point, the 'Master' is in charge of the life and pleasure of his 'slave'. But what happens is that from that very point of surrender, the 'Master' turns to a slave to serve his 'slave' and the 'slave's' pleasure. The 'Master' has no choice but to make a 'slave' his priority and serve because in the higher essence of love, there are no masters and no slaves… The 'Master' becomes a slave, and the 'slave' becomes a master who is served by the 'Master'.
What we observe, unfortunately, is how the majority misuses BDSM to give way to their hidden psychological problems, such as the desire to feel and experience power over people, hurt or humiliate them and take full advantage of ropes and handcuffs for their Shadow to step in. You can always use a well either to drink from it and rejoice; or wash your arse in it and contaminate it. The choice is yours.
Ones who use BSDM to give way to their Shadow, their game has nothing to do with love. Yet, the archetype of BDSM is love and is beautiful in its essence, as it is an act of surrender. When a woman surrenders to her man, she awakens in him his natural inner desire to serve her and make her happy. From now on, she can give up her Yang nature and become pure Yin - pure feeling, experiencing. And the man becomes stronger, pure Yang force which is more of a doing, creativity and service and makes it his duty to serve her pleasure.
And when a man surrenders to his woman, becoming her 'slave', he surrenders his Yang power to her higher Yin and can also experience his Yin "feeling" nature. This is one of the rarest opportunities for him to do it and experience his Yin nature, and BDSM allows it. And then a woman who was made a 'Master' has no choice but to serve her 'slave': his pleasure. But it is really only on the surface. In their essence, the one who is a 'slave' is really a master because it is his pleasure that she puts above her own when serving her 'slave'. This is the higher essence of BDSM and it is a voluntary act of surrender.
Pain, a fine art
When you are pleasured for a prolonged period of time, you no longer experience that level of pleasure. It gradually starts fading, and in order to feel the same level of pleasure as at the beginning, you would need to receive more pleasure or to be pleasured with more pressure - this is the way to send a signal to our nerve receptors about an increased level of pleasure because they get used over time. So you have to constantly increase pleasure to feel it even at the same level as before without it fading. But at some point, especially during a long lovemaking act, a partner can no longer give you any more pleasure; she or he has given you all the pleasure they could. It is your receptors that got used to pleasure. So the only way to give you more pleasure is to stronger stimulate your receptors so that the nerves send a signal to your brain that you are having more pleasure. Thus, we have to increase pressure. After some time, it becomes impossible to increase pressure to give you pleasure without hurting you a little. The thing is, when our brain has been receiving pleasure for a good period of time, and we feel no danger from the partner, even a tiny pain will still be accepted by your receptors and translated by nerves to your brain as pleasure. This is how our brain works. Nerve receptors get confused and cannot actually distinguish between a small level of pain and a high level of pleasure after they had been receiving pleasure. They will consider a small amount of pain as pleasure. In fact, this is the only way to give you more pleasure. That is why light biting and light pinching can strongly arouse you and your partner during lovemaking. But it is only advised to do it when your partner is already excited and being pleasured and all very relaxed. Slight pain can only be added after some time or closer to the end of lovemaking.
Pain is a fine art and should be used with big care, rather as a spice, like a chilli pepper, to add flavour to a dish and excite, but not to overdo and ruin the whole dish. The one who masters this art of using light pain to pleasure their beloved can be the greatest of lovers, taking them to the heavens.
8. Longevity can be achieved
Peng Zu wrote that a man can gain longevity by preserving ejaculation, develop spiritually and eating healthy food and drink. However, if he does not know the Dao of love, then it does not matter what he eats or drinks - he will not live to a ripe old age. The union of a man and woman should be like the harmony of earth and sky. It is thanks to the harmony of yin and yang that the earth and sky exist forever, but man has neglected this harmony of yin and yang for a long time; therefore, he is in decline in health and strength, but if he can learn the Dao of love, then he will someday again open the way to longevity.
In ancient China, the right way of making love was related to good health. All ancient scriptures, without exception, emphasized that practicing the Dao of love is the single most important factor in extending life span. In the last 2,500 years of Chinese history, there have been examples of longevity; in almost every case it was a result of practicing Dao of love.
A Daoist doctor and also a surgeon Gua Do lived about 100 years and remained youthful and professionally active until his death. He died because he was executed, otherwise, who knows how long he would have lived. His biographer notes that the Han dynasty was especially rich in men of great talent and achievement. Three people are specially mentioned: Deng Hou Guang, Ting Yu and Lu Niu Zhen - they all practiced Dao of love. Deng Hou Guang lived for over a hundred years and was said only to look 30 or 40 years old.
Another example from the Han Dynasty (206 B.C. to 220 A.D.) concerns Wu Zu Du. One day, when Emperor Hou Wo was hunting on the banks of the Wei River, he noticed that Wu Zu Du, who was 138 years old at the time, had an unusual aura around him. He asked his servant Mun-fal Zhuo about Wu Zu Du. The servant replied, "This man's life force is in contact with heaven because he has practiced the Dao of Love." The emperor ordered his servants to leave, wanting to talk to Wu Zu Du alone. He asked about his secret, and Wu said: "The Dao of love is a difficult secret, which is why I, Your Majesty's servant, have never said anything about it before, and also because few people can practice it; that's another reason why I didn't dare disclose it before. I studied Dao of love from Lin Yang Zu (one of the Dao teachers) when I was a very sick 60 y.o. man, and until now I have practiced Dao for 73 years. All who strive for longevity must seek it in the source of life; and the whole secret of this is control of ejaculation even when you are very attracted by the beauty of your partner. Allowing ejaculation will cause all types of diseases."
To fully benefit from Dao, a couple must first learn the spiritual practices and then study and practice the techniques described above as often as possible to perfect their intimacy, connection and ripe health benefits. The thing is, our genitals are no different from our other organs - they must be regularly used and exercised to remain in good shape and healthy.
9. Undoing bad habits
The majority of us are constantly concerned about how we look and seeing by our partner during sex rather than relaxing and enjoying the intimacy. Many are ashamed of or criticize their body.
Our pursuit for performance and how graciously we move, how masculine we look, how well or unwell our body looks at certain positions, our concern about growing belly or signs of ageing – all these worries totally distract our senses from feeling of our receptors and enjoying the intimacy with our partner. Our mind gets preoccupied with these worries turning the whole process of sex into a stressful exercise. If you add to this preoccupation about orgasm, concentrating on your hard erection, then you steal the whole joy from lovemaking.
Many people are convinced that the whole point of sex is to get to the finish line of orgasm and without it, sex is a pointless undertaking and even a failure. If both partners think this way, then the whole process turns into a tense race for orgasm. Each concentrated on how to achieve their own as soon as possible to proof to the other that they are 'normal' and the partner has done well to satisfy them. Our wish to fit into the standards of what is to be 'normal' in sex, topped up with our worries about having a hard penis and orgasm, carry us further away from the real purpose of lovemaking. Given that orgasm is about 1% of the whole process, it is a bit silly to make it the main point. It really is not worth the effort.
Couples who place orgasm as the reason and their top priority in sex, over time they lose their romantic attraction to each other and to sex altogether. This is because their sexual energy was never able to transform up their body to higher chakras, fulfilling their spirit and the need of their heart for fulfilment. Love tends to deteriorate over time if the heart chakra is not nourished by sexual energy. Sex should always be that fire that brings both to the higher realm, nourishing their hearts and elevating their spirits. Only then will both partners want and wait for lovemaking every time.
In fact, the inability and not knowing how to reach the hearts and souls of each other during sex and stay in your 'together' - is one of the reasons for divorce for many couples. In time they stop feeling romantic attraction for each other and the unity that is achieved during lovemaking, and feel they are separate incompatible people who will be better on their own or with someone else. The truth is, sex does not have to be anything but a way to connect, get into that intimate state with your beloved, relax and be in love. Orgasm is simply not a goal and does not have to be achieved every single time. That is not the purpose. But the intimacy relaxation that lovemaking can give you, recharging your batteries after a stressful day at work, a feel-good remedy – all these are the reasons to dive into your intimacy and make love.
We should accept our imperfect bodies as they are and relax about it once we are in bed, without worrying that they may not fit into the frame imposed on us by the youth culture. We should also accept that sex is a messy, dirty and smelly process that often assumes the contact of not very clean bodies and involves our excretory organs and discharges: genitals, mouth, anus, sweat, saliva, sperm. To enjoy sex, you should look at sex completely differently. Concentrate on your feelings and the intimacy with your partner. If you make sex “acceptance and intimacy” zone, you'll find it much easier to relax and let your body do what it wants, which is a sure-fire way to increase pleasure.
A famous sexologist Marty Klein, Ph.D. encourages to see wetness and messiness in sex as a sign of intimacy and safety, rather than mess and a threat.
Why should we turn sex into a performance? Sex is not, but it is us who make it a performance. Klein compares performance in sex to how some people turn the process of drinking alcohol into a performance: “they brag about drinking more than others, or tease friends for not being able to compare with them.”
Constantly monitoring your performance during sex not only depletes your enjoyment from sex, but it makes it harder for you to “perform” your role in the way you want it. If you obsess over your desire to perform well (or your fear of failure), it becomes much more difficult to feel, smell, touch, taste and enjoy. It's ironic: people who obsess in a performance, they usually say: “I want my partner to have a good time with me” or “I don’t want to disappoint my partner.” And then they emotionally withdraw themselves from the other person in order to carry out their own plan of a sexual act that they could be proud of, rather than being involved into the intimacy and the process - which is exactly what people want the most from their lovers.
If you have a habit of controlling all parts of your life, it will be very difficult for you to lose control and enjoy lovemaking, unless you decide that sex is an opportunity where you can let your habit go and step on an exciting journey of discovering each other's bodies and pleasures, never knowing where the path may take you and where you end up. Let yourself get carried away with the process and explore the journey without the final destination.
Every time you catch yourself with other thoughts taking over you during sex, rather than being in the present with your partner, you must consciously bring yourself back, switch off your brain and just feel. Open all your receptors and enjoy the process. It takes practice and is a skill but with time, you will master it. There is no place for tension and stress in lovemaking. As soon as you catch yourself being carried away by thoughts and worries, consciously bring yourself back into the present to feel here and now, concentrating on your beloved and on the pleasure you are feeling at this moment. Sex is the best and most enjoyable mediation practice that exists, allowing you to switch off your brain and just be in your together.
10.TRANSFORMING SEXUAL ENERGY INTO SPIRITUAL LOVE
“A man will never disappoint his woman and will not be disappointed, when he learns the art of lovemaking.”
— Cghan Gholang
Love and sex should not be separated. Sex without love is a mere biological function. And love without sex does not bring satisfaction and peace.
We are making love in our minds - which ultimately is where everyone makes love, and the body is just a holographic projection in the nervous system of what we experience in the mind.
I will explain this process using Hindu Tantrism. If you love your woman, your feeling lives in your heart Anahata chakra, and when you start feeling desire for her, your life force (Qi) goes down the spine and ignites your Svashistana chakra, which is responsible for your sexual desire. If it goes further down the spine, your raw sexual energy awakens when Muladhra chakra ignites. It is located between your anus and genitals and is a foundation of your body energy, where your Yang Qi evolves.
Qi (chi)
Sexual energy cannot be understood until the Chinese concept of " qi" is clear. Qi, also known as prana in Hinduism, or the electromagnetic life force, is very difficult to describe because this life energy is invisible and cannot be seen. However, we can feel it. "Qi" is simply the Chinese word for "breath." The Chinese never bother trying to analyse exactly what "qi" is. All that mattered to them is how qi functions and what it does for us. When you want light in your room, you turn press on the switch, and the electricity flows and radiates light. You don't analyse it; you simply flip the switch.
Modern scientists are beginning to describe the world in much the same fashion that the ancient Daoists described it—as an interplay of positively (yang) and negatively (yin) charged atoms. Here is a recent description of electricity in Time-Life's science magazine:
"Electricity is almost certainly the most elusive of everyday things: It lives in the walls of our houses and regulates the lives of our cells."
Qi existed before everything in the physical world as original qi, or pure energy. Sexual energy is understood as a kind of "human electricity" because like "qi" it is an invisible energy that flows through the body. However, in its raw physical form, it is stored in men in their sperm and women in their ovaries. Thus, it is a kind of qi energy that is distilled into a powerful essence that can recreate the entire human organism.
Sometimes you may notice that when you love someone very much, you have this pressing feeling in your chest, like your heart almost hurts from love, and you feel the urge to merge with your beloved: to give them a hug or a kiss... This is your heart Anahata chakra, where there has been too much of your qi stagnated and the qi is urging to release from your body and reach your beloved. When you feel sexually aroused, this is your sexual energy expanding at a compelling rate. Your whole being is suddenly charged with new energy, your body is fired with passion, and your heart is transfixed with desire.
When you enter the woman, you pass her your Yang energy, which is able to create a new life. In the woman, that energy ignites her Muladhra chakra and flows up the spine igniting Svashistana and up to Anahata – the heart chakra. In a woman, her Yin Qi goes to a man via her breasts. When a man and woman are staying in close contact during lovemaking and their bodies rub on each other, their Yang and Yin Qi starts going through their bodies, circulating in a circle, like a single energy ball. If the man sucks a woman's breasts during sexual intercourse, he will directly suck her Yin power that will flow through his mouth down to his body invigorating him and mixing with his Yang qi coming out of his penis again to her. When they lock this circle by locking their bodies in each other: their genitals, lips or when sucking woman's breast, then their joined Qi will start rotating, growing, expanding and purifying both of them, like a big energy ball going through their bodies in a locked circle. Oxytocin – the hormone of happiness - actively starts producing and both feel joyful and elevated. Long intercourse not only greatly increases a woman's pleasure, but also greatly increases a man's pleasure too.
When the upper poles of man and woman are connected—at the heart and mouth—as well as the genitals, then the magnet can become an electromagnetic dynamo. Then, the qi can nourish and transform into the upper half of their bodies. If both man and woman cultivate it through meditation, love and regular lovemaking, they can reach higher spiritual levels through their human form. Such experiences break through the bounds of individual pleasure and sensation and go beyond the satisfaction of their bodies and personal egos.
The relationship becomes a springboard to transform sexual attraction into personal love and then into spiritual awareness and service for each other. The power struggle between the sexes fades, balancing their differences over work, family and love, leading them into deep harmony and balance. Balancing this core sexual polarity in a couple is true depth psychology, as it nourishes man and woman at their innermost root. If a couple practices this philosophy, the man will remain healthy and full of youth, and the woman will escape literally 'a hundred' of diseases. Our hormones are closely related to the ageing process, and our reproductive system includes vital glands that produce those hormones. Both will enjoy lovemaking to the fullest, and at the same time, they will increase their physical health and remain youthful.
Recent research from the National Institute of Health (2019) showed that after sexual intercourse, scientists found a man's DNA in the woman's body. And we know that one DNA stores 1,5 gigabytes of data of the person.
There is an old saying: "And two will become one." This is literally true in lovemaking. All the man's data is passed to the woman on a physical level via his DNA and on an energetic level too, and vice versa. They become parts of each other and are connected forever. We know DNA can last and does not die from several weeks to a million years, depending on the conditions it is exposed to (wind, rain, etc). But if the DNA of a man enters a safe woman's body where his sperm can merge with her egg and germinate into a child, how long would DNA physically last in her?
Some people believe that sexual desire and need disappear after turning middle age. This is a myth. It might be that the desire may weaken in some individuals who are not enlightened, and this is due their incompetence and inability to incorporate spiritual practices into lovemaking or due to unsuitable partner. Because there is no scientific evidence why men and women cannot continue making love for the rest of their lives.
